Introspection
by pokeking95
Summary: Raindrops has trouble sleeping. She starts thinking about her life. It makes her sad.


Just something quick I whipped up.

The first thing you'll probably notice is the format of the story. I tried to write only in simple sentences, though I might have messed up in a few places—I take pride in my usage of proper grammar, but I am not perfect and am bound to make mistakes from time to time. I chose to write in this format partly because I wanted to experiment a bit and mostly because I was lazy and gave up on writing something more flowery like my usual drivel. I also apologize in advance if the writing seems jarring or doesn't flow right.

On a final note, this may or may not cover some of the things that I personally think about as I lie awake in the dead of night, waiting for sleep to take me.

* * *

><p>Raindrops couldn't sleep.<p>

She just laid in bed.

She stared at a stream of moonlight, shining through curtained windows.

This went on for a few minutes.

She looked away once she got bored.

Raindrops sighed.

She was bored.

She turned on her side.

Her bedroom was sparsely decorated.

The wall she was facing was bare.

There wasn't really anything interesting to look at.

She got bored again.

She decided to lie on her belly.

Another few minutes passed.

It actually wasn't that comfortable.

She turned and laid on her back again.

She ruffled her wings a bit.

She started looking at the ceiling.

That, too, was boring.

Raindrops was bored.

She couldn't sleep.

She had nothing to do.

Therefore, she started thinking about things.

Maybe it would help dull her mind enough to sleep.

_Let's see…_

There was work in the morning.

She had to get up early for that.

_I can still get about six hours of sleep right now._

She had to go grocery shopping soon.

_Milk, eggs, cereal, bread, some fruit would be nice…_

She would probably go after work.

Her little cottage should also be cleaned in the near future.

Perhaps she'll get to it on the weekend.

_I have no plans anyway._

…

Raindrops groaned.

She felt more stressed now.

This was not working.

Maybe she should start thinking about other things.

Namely, she started thinking about herself.

The first thing she thought about was her appearance.

She had a jasmine coat.

She also had a mane and eyes of cyan to complement it.

…Nothing more, really.

To be honest, she was kind of boring-looking.

She didn't stand out much at all.

But at least she wasn't ugly, either.

Raindrops supposed she should be grateful for that.

_Anything else?_

How about her special talent?

Raindrops' talent was to make rain.

…

That's about it.

Raindrops wilted a little.

Her talent matched her name, at any rate.

That did not help improve her mood.

Okay, maybe she was _extra_ good at making rain?

She was at least good enough to be a weather pony.

Everypony relied on her to make some rainclouds.

Raindrops perked up.

She suddenly felt a little more important.

A small smile came to her face.

Then she realized something else.

Pretty much every pegasus knows how to make rain.

Raindrops' mood soured again.

She stopped feeling important.

The smile was gone.

_Just full of mood swings tonight, huh?_

Raindrops decided to change the subject.

_What else is there to think about?_

She was a pegasus.

_ Brilliant observation, Sherclop._

However, she had never been much of a flier.

That didn't mean she hated flying.

Otherwise, she wouldn't have a job as a weather pony.

There was simply nothing special about her flying abilities.

Absolutely unremarkable.

She sighed again.

It honestly made her feel a bit ashamed.

There were plenty of fliers better and more skilled than her.

She remembered when she participated in forming a tornado with the other pegasi.

She found out that her wingpower wasn't too bad.

It could've been better, though.

At least she contributed to making that tornado.

Raindrops frowned.

She quickly remembered she had passed out.

That wasn't pleasant.

She thought about it some more.

She then realized she had been one of the first to collapse.

Okay, that was actually pretty embarrassing.

_ At least nopony ever brought it up…_

Raindrops felt a little sad now.

_I'm really not that good at flying._

…

Raindrops paused.

_Wait._

She remembered something.

She had actually managed to get into the Wonderbolt Academy a while ago.

Sure, she was only a wingpony.

It still counted for something, right?

Raindrops smiled a little.

That was pretty cool, maybe.

But she did not make it into the Wonderbolts themselves.

She stopped smiling.

"Good, but not good enough."

That's what she remembered Spitfire saying to her.

Mediocre.

That's all she was.

That's all she would ever be.

Raindrops shook her head.

_Stop being so depressing._

Plenty of other ponies had failed too.

She wasn't the only one.

Still, Raindrops didn't feel much better.

She sighed yet again.

She didn't like the way her thoughts were going.

_There's got be something else to think about…_

Raindrops thought about her current living situation.

_Hmm…_

It could be better.

Her cottage was pretty plain and boring…

…_Just like me._

It could be worse, though.

It does tend to be quiet, however, living by her lonesome.

There's also not much furniture.

Raindrops didn't need much anyway.

Bills were accounted for.

_That's good._

She should probably start getting ready for winter, though.

_It is getting chilly._

Raindrops snuggled under the covers a bit.

…

She lay there silently for a little while.

She wasn't that much closer to sleep.

Raindrops decided to go over her schedule for tomorrow.

_First, I should wake up early and eat some breakfast._

_Then, there's work and lunch._

_Oh, also there's that grocery shopping to take care of afterwards._

_Then, I'll go home._

_Lastly, I'll eat some dinner and then go to bed._

…

…_Is that it?_

…

…_Yeah, sounds about right._

It did sound awfully uneventful, though.

Raindrops supposed she had some free time to spend.

A contemplative frown crossed her face.

She wracked her brain for things to do.

She could clean her cottage early.

The prospect didn't sound too appealing, however.

Watching cartoons or reading a book, perhaps?

She typically wasn't in the mood to do so right after work, unfortunately.

Sleeping?

…Maybe.

She then realized that she could spend some time with the other weather ponies after work.

However, she also realized that she wasn't all that close to any of them.

They were coworkers, nothing more.

_Thunderlane… Cloud Kicker… Blossomforth… Cloudchaser and Flitter… They've always been in their own little clique._

She felt disheartened.

There's still Rainbow Dash—

Raindrops shook her head wildly.

She'd rather not spend more time with Rainbow Dash than is necessary.

Derpy?

…No, she wasn't that close with her.

They're acquaintances at best.

Besides, Derpy had actual friends and family to spend time with.

_She does seem like a genuinely fun pony, though._

Raindrops thought some more.

…

She felt dejected.

She couldn't think of anypony else she could spend time with.

_As usual…_

_Who would want to spend time with boring old me, anyway?_

Raindrops didn't want to think anymore.

There was nothing else to think about.

She curled up under the covers some more.

She gave one last sigh.

It was hopeless.

She felt lonely.

It hurt, just a little bit.

But it's okay.

She would just have to look forward to spending tomorrow all by herself.

_Again._

But really, it's okay.

She's used to it.

…

…

…

Raindrops couldn't sleep.

She wanted to cry.


End file.
